Confession Time

Have I ever mentioned how much I appreciate blogs? I mean it, there is some really amazing stuff to be learned if you just take a few minutes to read other people's thoughts.

I guess a more appropriate way to put it is that I really appreciate bloggers - especially the ones who are willing to share their experiences and lessons learned. I read a post from Rob today that totally made me get tears in my eyes.

As soon as I read the title and saw a picture of his daughter I knew it was going to hit me pretty hard. See, his daughter is 5. I, too, have a 5-year-old daughter and it's been hitting me pretty hard lately how fast she is growing up.

The strangest things will make me stop and take notice of what a beautiful "big" girl she's becoming. Things like Derry asking for advice about road tripping with a 5-month-old baby. I can't even remember when my daughter was 5 months old! That was more than 5 years ago!

There are times when I watch her coloring a picture or really concentrating on something and I realize that nearly 6 years (her birthday is May 30) have gone by and it's all been a blur.

Rob mentioned dating his children and that's something my wife and I have talked about a lot lately. We spent some time with Mark & Cindi Lantz the other night and they mentioned what a great relationship Mark has with their daughter Kalyn, who is everything I want my daughter to be when she grows up. She knows without a doubt that her dad loves her and thinks she is precious. I want my daughter to feel the same way about me.

Here's where the confession part comes in. I hope you won't think less of me after reading this, but if you do I guess I deserve it.

There are times when I think of my kids as an inconvenience.
There are times when I am bothered by my kids wanting my attention.
There are times when my kids take a back seat to television or some other unimportant activity.

I'm sorry.

I know all of those things seem very selfish and pathetic, and I am ashamed to admit them. But, the reason I'm admitting them is so that you can help me do better.

I never want to let anything come before my kids. I never want to put my own convenience or comfort in the way of my relationship with them.

I always want them to know they are important, precious and pleasing to me. I want them to know I love them and adore them. I want them to know I think they're the greatest kids in the world. I want to take advantage of the many chances I have to spend quality time with them and invest in their lives.

Aside from my wife, there is no relationship that is more important to me. There is no greater calling on my life than to be a great husband and dad.

If you see me, please ask me how much time I've spent investing in my kids lately. Ask me how many "dates" I've taken my kids on lately. Ask me how many times I've hugged them and told them I love them lately. Just keep me accountable. I am selfish, but I also want to overcome my selfishness to be everything my kids want me to be. So, will you help me?